today i ran a 5K, my first one actually.
i was supposed to push my special-needs buddy riley, but that was not possible unfortunately.
i am excited and proud of what i’ve done.
i have learned a lot about grace in the training process too.
i have learned that i have to give myself grace when i don’t do what i expected or wanted to do.
even better, i get to give myself grace.
i get o give myself grace to grow.
in a different manner i get to give myself grace while i’m actually running; i get to allow myself to take breaks and listen to my body’s signals when it is telling me i need a little rest.
i have found freedom in this grace. freedom from my thoughts and expectations.
i have learned that that is okay. it is okay to not meet your expectations 100% of the time. and it’s okay to set a lower expectation than you initially wanted. it does not mean that you did bad. it does not mean you are bad. it simply means this: you allowed yourself to give yourself grace in a possibly difficult moment.
just like flowers, we are planted. and i imagine that if flowers could think they may be exceptionally hard on themselves when try to bloom, especially in the winter going into spring. to push through that frozen hard ground is a challenge. again, just like flowers, we have to bloom. if flowers could think, a few may choose to stay planted, to never bloom. and how sad would that be? a flower-less spring… we are like flowers in the way that many of us choose to stay planted. we never get to experience the sun and our true beautiful, full self. i can say that i am probably one of those flowers. one that chooses to stay planted and to never experience life. this choice may be influenced by many things: fear of failure, fear of being planted again, fear of “what if is not really that good”… all those things and many more keep too many people including myself planted. BUT just like we can choose to stay planted, we can all choose to bloom! we can choose to take the “what if” risk. it may be hard and scary, but all of us can see how worth-it it is in the end.
as i am going through recovery, grace has been essential. i make mistakes. i will make many many more. but there is nothing worse than choosing to stay planted and never experiencing the light, joy, & life to its fullest!
the winds may come, and rain too. maybe even a few storms. but just like being planted makes us grow, so do the storms. the rain that seems so miserable in the moment is like the hard stuff. however, eventually, it softens the ground allowing blooming to be easier. the storms may be scary, but they pass & we can survive them. the winds may sway us in one direction or another, but we still remain standing,
& hopefully one day your beauty will spread. maybe you’ll bring some color into a dark family situation (even your own). maybe you’ll help someone else grow. maybe you’ll share with others how worth-it choosing to bloom is!
it is worth it my friends, whatever your “it” is.
you can bloom.
you can grow through the pain.
you can survive the storms.
i can too.
ps… how i got all of this from 5K training? i’m wondering the same thing…
Yours Truly, Claire (an official 5K’er)